Featured Illustration: Audrey Towle
Welcome to this month’s edition of Virtual Water Cooler, where we serve you big, whopping glasses of top-shelf Twitter content from recent weeks. Here are some of the things that made us laugh, cry, think, awww, roll our eyes and more.
No gift or shower curtain is bought without it
the people who run the wirecutter hold such power over me, a highly suggestible idiot who doesn’t like making decisions
— tasbeeh (@THerwees) August 10, 2021
Penniless rumors confirmed
Good news: I want to connect with YOU on Cameo — Now taking all Cameo requests! https://t.co/c5I1EUiuts pic.twitter.com/55SgNqv7Sj
— Rudy W. Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) August 10, 2021
"Same"
— mike sacks (@PhotosOfTV) July 29, 2021
Press Secretary Jen Psaki gets an intern
Kooper the Gen Z (@WhiteHouse) intern 😋🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/zFItHhqJqp
— Benito Skinner (@BennyDRAMA7) August 9, 2021
Our favorite budding golfers
Fore! Mischievous bear cubs make their way onto golf course, tackling flagstick ⛳🐻 https://t.co/JkzOIVpWQe pic.twitter.com/1H6M74PHYH
— NBC 15 News (@mynbc15) August 9, 2021
Jake Gyllenhaal admits that he doesn't shower often
Brave: Another White Person Comes Out as Stinky: https://t.co/PcLve3a7Ob pic.twitter.com/yXhLBfXPWH
— Reductress (@Reductress) August 8, 2021
That's not how it works
Cuomo: “I’m Not Perverted, I’m Italian”It’s not Sexual Harassment, it’s DiGiorno pic.twitter.com/EFtVYXXHA2
— Gentleman Savage (@Agostinozoida) August 10, 2021
From the annals of "oh lord, why"
Yes, the neon-green citrus soft drink that you last drank when you were 13, and “getting into” “skateboards” will release a “hard” version of the drink, called, appropriately, Hard Mountain Dew. Or rather, “Hard MTN Dew” https://t.co/8jHeEtc5ed
— Grub Street (@grubstreet) August 10, 2021
"Buzzed in the Cheese Aisle," by Lady Gaga
so many songs about sex, so few songs about how fun it is to get a litttttttle drunk and go grocery shopping
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) August 9, 2021
Hoping they keep the same theme music
HBO’s ‘The White Lotus’ Renewed for Season 2 With New Cast, Location https://t.co/v5GlSzI8tj
— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) August 10, 2021
Tom and Rita deserve better
Chet Hanks is the price we have to pay for Tom Hanks being such an amazing human https://t.co/JV4iOqm4Ev
— Allison / BLM ☽ ☾ (@nametags) August 10, 2021
Convenient!
“we investigated ourselves and found we did nothing wrong” https://t.co/hahA2GRksQ
— ACABincalifornia (@ladymisskate) August 10, 2021
Ron DeSantis Mahogany
They’re inventing new shades of “scary-dark-red” to explain Florida rn pic.twitter.com/gfIwuxOVCP
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) August 10, 2021
Yes, the quoted part is a real chat transcript
Zuckerberg, 2004:
‘i have over 4000 emails, pictures, addresses… people just submitted it… i don’t know why… they “trust me”… dumb fucks’
‘Billions of people in the tightfisted, mechanical grip of FB’s soul-saving mission.’@NewYorker, just out. https://t.co/bl21kXCIYr— flitedocnm (@flitedocnm) August 4, 2021
And the harsh reality of being an aging Chad
i’m really gonna be 60 years old named chad I can’t fucking take this anymore
— chad (@badboychadhoy) August 5, 2021
Did we miss your favorite?
Let us know — email us at connect@localgetaways.com or tag us @localgetaways.